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PART 4 And now finally, the exact transit over my chart that made me consider staying home on the night of my car crash: The new moon in Scorpio on November 1st happened in my 1st house of self and body (Placidus) or 2nd house of money and assets (Whole Sign). Scorpio is ruled by Mars and Pluto, and those two planets were in an exact opposition that weekend. Mars was sitting one degree off my moon and midhaven over my 9th house of freeways and long distance travel (the crash happened on a freeway just a few minutes from my home coming back from a long delivery drive). Pluto is sitting at the very final degree of Capricorn and the last degree of my third house of cars, local travel and transportation, etc. That opposition is intense, sometimes explosive, dangerous. At the critical 29th degree, there is a sense of karma and extremes. The Moon comes along and triggers events in astrology. The rest of the chart can have all the components set in place for some time without much activity, and suddenly the moon swoops by and pulls the tides of change with it, the mood shifts, and something happens. On the night of my crash, the moon reached 29 degrees of Scorpio, the release point of my Yod (that is currently approaching activation by Uranus) at the exact minute of the crash, 8:30pm. The astrology of my crash is so clear and exact, and I literally saw this and took pause before I decided I wanted to make money and wasn’t going to let fear of the astrology stop me… I should have listened to my intuition and astrological insight. My life will not let me escape the fact that I am an astrologer and must step fully into my work as my whole self. I cannot erase my Mormon past and present myself as some polished pretend version of a mystic that has never struggled with madness. I am being pushed to embrace my wounds and share them openly, to demonstrate how astrology saved me from myself and my ancestral “root rot”, and share my own Messy Awakening. I will never doubt what I see in the astrology again.

PART 3 This is the Yod that is about to be activated over the next two years (the triangle pointing to Mercury and Chiron at 29 Taurus in the 8th house). This Yod describes a massive self-worth wound implanted into my thinking patterns from my youngest years as a result of childhood sexual abuse, neglect, extreme shame, and cult indoctrination. My life has been so insidiously harmed in every single way because of this cult trauma, and one of the foundations of this Yod is Saturn and Pluto in Libra on my Ascendant, one of the most obvious signifiers of my being born into a cult of intense control and manipulation. This placement reflects my massive ego issues. Toxic people pleaser. A narcissistic bipolar victim. But Saturn and Pluto are calling me to dig deep into my own shadows, to own myself, my life, and my decisions, to become my own inner authority, and to heal my relationship with myself and the Divine (sitting on my ascendant, there is a bleed into my 12th house and much of my life demands that I be alone and tune into the unseen realms). Ever since Uranus entered the sign of Taurus in 2018, I have been awakening to my true skills as an astrologer, but also realizing just how poor my mental health has been and the origins of my wounds. This image demonstrates my Saturn/Pluto conjunction on my Ascendant, also known as the lens of intense FEAR and self-loathing through which I have historically seen everything in life as a result of cult trauma, and the huge amount of inner work I have done and still must do in my life to heal and transform it. My Mercury/Chiron Yod describes my many deep wounds, my fear and shame around sharing them publicly, and the clear calling in my life to do exactly that. Note again here that the “release point” of my yod is at 29 degrees Scorpio. I have had so many significant relationships / contracts / interactions with people and events with planets or transits at 29 Scorpio that have always been intertwined with myself worth wound and obsession with astrology… I know this degree to be incredibly important to me and one that will often trigger significant events in my life… More in next post.

Yod Activation. Not all astrologers will tell you if you have a Yod, and many will overlook a massive part of a native’s life and purpose by missing this unusual aspect. My friend, fellow astrologer, and Yod Bearer @darcie_taco once told me she heard the Yod aspect described as feeling like you’re living on a short leash with the Universe / “God”. That landed so hard with me. I have 2 Yods (and if you throw in Ceres, I have a third) – see the long skinny triangles outlined in black in the second and third slide, the “Yod” aspect. Much of my life has felt completely beyond my control. Frequently, when I try to take a significant step forward, I get smacked back down and into a stuck point, always based in the issues described by the Yods in my birth chart. A Yod (Finger of God) aspect is one that is full of fate. My 3rd house cusp is at 26 degrees of Sagittarius, the Galactic Center. The 3rd house is the house of social media, and I have a very specific message to share in my content that I’ll begin revealing through my full yod activation over the next couple of years. Often a Yod aspect depicts a native with an ancestry that has been deeply misled, harmful, damaged, wounded, or otherwise harmed, and the native has been selected as the one who must break (or create) the pattern. While all of us have the potential to address ancestral wounds and generational trauma, Yod Bearers do not have a choice, it is their exact fate. The stressful conundrum of the Yod has a solution, a release point (the point exactly opposite the apex of the Yod – the planet being pinned). The Yod itself creates an itchy feeling of purpose or huge potential that can’t quite seem to be tapped in the native… until one day it suddenly works and the native could never have made it work that way… it’s “God’s Finger” making that planet finally function appropriately with the base planets, the sextile aspect at the foundation of the triangle. My Mercury/Chiron Yod release point is at 29 degrees of Scorpio. This will be important in the next posts on this crash.

I know I’m lucky. Grateful to be alive. This is “Yod life”. A yod is known as “the finger of god” aspect in a birth chart. This aspect is said to be extremely fated, pointing to a special purpose in the life of the native that must be fulfilled. Yod bearers have an itching feeling that they’re supposed to do something very specific but they often cannot figure it out until they go through Yod activation, at time during which an outer planet transits over the apex or release point of the Yod (either the thing the finger of god is pointing to or the exact opposite point in the chart, respectively). I am a double yod bearer, and my yods are linked at the base. I will be sharing a mini reading of my own chart on this soon to demonstrate how a yod works, but for now I will leave it at that. I am approaching the activation of one of my yods, which will first fully peak in the summer of 2025 and will take about 2 years to complete. My fate is coming. I’ve been watching it creep up for years with a certain apprehension… This car was so important to me, and I had begun to step back from content creation to do some delivery driving so that I could be with my feelings as I deconstruct my cult upbringing and process a lot of repressed emotions. But… I have a yod. And the finger of god will not allow a native to deviate from their path. Life slapped this car out of my hands and shoved me back into my home and said “NO”. And every internal message I’ve received since then has contained the call to share my story, though the toxic shame load I carry from cult indoctrination is so heavy that I’m still scared to speak truthfully in public about my life. And who cares? Who wants to hear about some silly ex Mormon and her sad little story? I feel like a complainer and an attention seeker. But those are the voices of my indoctrination shaming me out of speaking about the toxic system that harmed me to my core. My yod points to mercury and Chiron. It is my calling to speak about my wounds and share my story openly. Until I do, the finger of god will keep pinning me down and slapping other paths out of my hands. #exmormon #blacklightastrology #cultsurvivor

Pluto is at the final degree of my 3rd house (vehicles) opposite mars on my midhaven and moon… I saw the astrology and thought maybe I shouldn’t go out delivery driving tonight… Got smashed by two vehicles from behind and absolutely destroyed my new car. Massive bump on my head where it hit the window. Spun around on the freeway 3 times before I hit the center divide and shoved it with my car almost into the other side of the freeway. The police and firemen kept telling me I’m lucky to be alive. Likely concussed. I went 12 years without a car before buying one 3 months ago. I loved that damn car so much. Gone. 😭 🤦‍♀️ My head hurts, but I’m alive. Never ignoring the astrology again.

HAPPY SAMHAIN! This Friday is the most amazing new moon in scorpio and I want to take advantage of the razor-thin veil this season. Book by November 21st for 20% a reading (the reading does not have to take place by Nov 21st, just the booking). www.black-light-astrology.com #samhain #samhainsale #astrology

Whew!!! Spur of The moment vulnerable share on why I’ve been MIA. Thank you for your messages!!! I have a great therapist and wonderful friends in my life, and I’m starting to heal bit by bit. Thank you for your patience as I deconstruct and put myself together from a long life of brainwashing and inner turmoil. I’ll be back in time with more. #cultsurvivor #exmormon #plutoincapricorn #usaplutoreturn